My friend @robinwood_thereturn passed away on July 2. I am still not ready to discuss it. I don't think I will ever be ready. I wanted more time to grieve, to reflect, to meet her in my dreams, to find her in a place of bliss, free from earthly disappointments and pain.
I shared my grief with a selected few, those who loved her as much as I do, and those who defended her in Lipstick Alley on her last days...
Despite knowing about her illness and that her days were numbered, none of us were prepared for the loss. I was still hoping for a miracle, a chance to meet her, to hold her in my arms and say thank you and tell her how lucky I am to be her friend. I wanted to show her my town and favorite places. I wanted to visit her town and her favorite places. I wanted a long walk in a garden full of roses, my favorite flowers, and dahlias, her favorite flowers. I wanted photos for my walls and memories in my heart. I wanted to sip a warm cup of tea and remember her smiles.
On the day she died, it felt like someone chopped off a piece of me and I have yet to figure out which piece is gone... but I feel a part of me is missing.
My friend, my beautiful sweet friend, elegant, charming, graceful, and brilliant with a wicked sense of humor and a heart of gold. My beautiful friend, the kind of person that this world needs... My beautiful friend, I was so lucky to have known you. My friend, a person of integrity and conviction who stood by me despite suffering the loss of her husband, the love of her life and dealing with her own illness. My beautiful friend, the first person I hope to see when I die. Your job is to hug me and show me what infinity feels like... to comfort me for the loved ones I leave behind and welcome me home.
My beautiful friend, my angel. My friend who is reunited with her husband and babies. But oh, my friend, how I wish for just one day with you, one long hug of hello and goodbye.
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